My review on Why I Stayed

I recently read, "Why I Stayed" A memoir of sorts from Gayle Haggard, wife of Ted Haggard. If you don't know about Ted Haggard or was living under a rock which I seemed to have been in the year of 2006, Ted was the senior pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, President on the National Association of Evangelicals and a husband to Gayle and father to five children. In November of 06' allegations from a male prostitute came against Ted saying that they had a three year affair and were using illegal drugs.

This book tells the story of Gayle and Ted's courtship in collage, their joys of their marriage and their struggle through the downfall and fallout of Ted's sin. The truth of what actually happened and what didn't. This book however spoke more to me on the bases of marriage then the bases of 'sin' that Ted took part in. Throughout this book Gayle makes the hard decision to hold tight to her marriage even though time after time she has every justified reason to leave Ted crawling in the dirt alone and divorced but instead clings to her husband so close that soon it is no longer the, "Sin's committed by Ted." It is "The sin's committed by Ted and Gayle..."

This book is many things, a clear depiction of the God's intent of marriage, a idea that Christianity can be more than a title worn like a shirt logo and it is also a real testimony of what restoration is. A wise man once told me that repentance is a word of hope and not a word of condemnation. I believe that the older I get the more that phrase makes sense to me and I think that this book illustrates it poignantly.

Ted's problems with homosexual relationships never seemed to hinder his belief in God but only in himself that he was a sinner in need of a savior. Gayle's say’s that the decision to stay with Ted was the right thing to do for him, their children and herself and it was an easy decision. What I take away is that Family should pull together in times of hardship and tragedy, that when the rest of the world vilifies you and shuns you, family is all you have left.

The realization that sin is sin no matter the color hits home for me. I seem to hold the idea that the heart is wicked in all man. Am I shocked when public people fall short of our expectations, absolutely not. I know that I make mistakes and so do they. I just wish they had the opportunity to heal better, lick their wounds in private. Gayle and Ted have moved onto a new chapter in their life helping people do just that in a way. They know that God has called them to the cast out and cast away of the churches and started having regular prayer meetings in their home again as of 2009. I would encourage everyone I meet to read this book, married or not, Christian or not, doesn’t matter. The message of hope in this book is so strong and clear cut I am certain it will effect everyone.